Independent Reading Entry 5

Percy, Walker
9/17/08

Lance, the main character and narrator, continues to describe his situation and his emotions about his situation. He and a family friend Elgin set up hidden cameras that aren't the highest quality in the bedrooms of his wife and suspected lover(s). What he discovers in the murky forms of people on the screen is that his wife is not with a previous lover anymore and is in a way relieved. But then a second figure enters the room and he gets proof of his wife's infidelity. His proof causes him pain and his newfound sobriety since his suspicions of his wife came about is ended with some "capsule" that causes him to experience an out of body and "away from pain" feeling. I think that his clarity and new views on life that were uncovered by his mounting suspicion caused an unfortunate build up of unfelt sadness and once the truth was proven the pain was too much.

It is always hard to tell, though, whether what he is feeling and describing is actually his true feelings. His credibility always seems to be at least partially skewed because of his strong emotional bias. He says himself he doesn't want to remember these hurtful times in his past so i believe that some of what he is saying is held back from the sheer difficulty of expressing himself fully. Getting all of one's emotions out is always hard to do, especially this intensity of emotion, so i sympathize with his possible skewing of details and feelings but it does hurt his credibility.